Forgiving Ain't Easy…But It's Necessary

By Whitney Ramos

Breaking free. Forgiveness isn't easy, but it's the key to releasing what was never meant to hold you forever.

I can honestly say that this was the toughest lesson I’ve had to learn in becoming a mature Christian woman. Let me be real for a second—forgiveness almost took me out. Not physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I remember praying, crying, repenting… and then going to pray again.

“I forgive them,” I said—real calm, real holy. But honestly… I was still side-eyeing their name on my phone. Still reliving the offense. Still writing full-blown speeches in my head about what I should’ve said.

Being real— forgiveness is hard.

It’s hard when they don’t apologize. It’s hard when you’re expected to be the “bigger person,” but you’re barely holding it together. It’s hard when you feel like you've lost something—your dignity, your peace, your time.

But here’s what God showed me:

Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about me.

My peace. My obedience. My growth.

And honey, let me tell you a secret: forgiveness is the key to your breakthrough. However, the enemy begins to appear and whispers thoughts he wants you to fill your mind with, such as:

“I’m a good person. How could they do that to me? I don't deserve to be treated this way." As if offense gives you a pass to carry bitterness.

See, the enemy wants you to stay the victim—to keep replaying the hurt, rehearsing the offense, and holding onto your “right” to be mad. But here’s the truth: You might have been the victim, but you don't have to stay the victim. So, yes, you were wronged, but you still have the responsibility to forgive. Because freedom doesn’t come from who was right—it comes from who’s willing to let go.

Being the "good person" doesn't exempt you from pain, and it surely doesn’t excuse you from healing right. Bitterness might feel like power for a moment, but it’s not strength—it’s a slow poison dressed up as self-protection.

“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”— Hebrews 12:14 (NKJV)

Bitterness clouds your vision, but forgiveness clears the path for a breakthrough.

Freedom ahead. Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it unlocks the path toward peace and purpose.

And you know, I wish I could say I got it right the first time, but I didn’t.

At first, I faked it. I said I forgave them, but the offense was still living rent-free in my heart. It was taking up space where my thoughts should’ve been focused on praising God and thanking Him for building my character—not just rescuing me from the situation.

It wasn’t until I got real with God and said:

“Lord, I’m still hurt. I want to forgive, but I don’t know how; please take this bitterness from me."

That was when things finally changed. That moment—an honest, messy prayer—marked the beginning of my healing.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”— Psalm 51:10 (NKJV)

Forgiveness is a process.

Some days, I nailed it. Other days? I was petty. Some moments, I prayed. In other moments, I cried in the shower.

But each day I felt better. I was lighter. I started healing. It wasn't easy and it took time. But now I can confidently say about myself that I am:

Closer to becoming the woman God called me to be—not weighed down by pain but walking in peace.

This is what freedom feels like. Letting go of offense makes room for joy.

So, no, forgiveness is not easy...

But it’s powerful. It’s healing. It’s necessary. Not for them. For you.

Selah. 💛